


She Who Holds the Cipher

by Lady_Rowboatt



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:29:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Rowboatt/pseuds/Lady_Rowboatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quite often, Caen Shepard is mistakened as a stray dog of the military. She smiles and does all the things a normal being should. But her files say otherwise. What people don't know is that those files tend to be awfully truthful, and at some point, Shepard is going to turn into the relentless monster it describes. They just don't know when. AU! (with some twists)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mission Parameters

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on fanfiction.net under my 'Rowboatt' account. Wanted to spread the love of this and my other stories to other fanwriting service sites. I hope you enjoy and constructive criticism is always welcome since there is a fester of characters thriving in the ME Universe and as authors we can't always grasp every single voice in our pieces. Feel free to leave comments!! 
> 
> Please keep in mind that this is an AU!story so events have changed and there will be some OCs running around, but not enough to fester into it's own sentient race. ;) [[Ok, that might be a lie]]

' _New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings._ ' - **Lao Tzu**

 

* * *

 

“Two-hundred.”

“ _Two-hundred?_ That’s it?”

“Two-hundred _thousand_ , Narl. You didn't let me finish.”

“Heh…I call your bluff girl.”

The woman leaned forward, harsh tangerine lighting dancing across her sienna skin. Her lip curled with an amused smirk, the scar on her full lips suddenly becoming noticeable. With ebony hair spiked into a Mohawk, and pearl white daggers shimmering, she looked about ready to kill someone. Those slate grey—near silver—eyes and shrunken black pupils didn't help with bringing out her ‘innocent’ side.

Narl, after sighing and rolling his four eyes, sat back into his chair as he mulled over the offer made to him. It was hard to figure this female out. Being human had nothing to do with it; he knew her for years now and even when they worked together it was hard to tell when she bluffed. But there was something about Shepard that made taking the chance worth the while. Even if it did cost him two-hundred _thousand_ credits. Well…shit. No real man backs down from a challenge like that, now does he?

The batarian rolled his shoulder, desperately trying to get rid of the ache seeping in. “Alright…I’m putting in,” a large gust of air went into his lungs. “Two-hundred fifty.”

“ _Thousand?_ ” Caen confirmed with a tilt of her head.

“Thousand,” Narl growled as he narrowed his eyes. “Now show your fucking cards.”

The human raised one eyebrow before turning her head to study him in a side-long glance. He hated it when she did this; toying with him. She knew it got his blood pressure rising. “Okay, I’m going to show my cards, _verrry_ carefully….In three…two…two and ha _llfff_ —“

“Damn it, Caen!! I have fucking trades to make!”

And suddenly, they were flipped over. And suddenly, he could feel himself getting pretty fucking angry. And suddenly, he wanted to punch that little smirk on her face in. But all Narl could do was sigh and nod, flicking his wrist towards her. His credit chit skidded across the table, landing in front of the smirking female. He stood, securing his weapons to the seals on his back.

“Same time next year, Narls?”

“Nar _l_ ; yeah, same time. Don’t forget your next appointment with me either. We all know you can’t take care of that crop of fur on your head.”

Caen pouted as she ran her fingers through the shaved hair near her ears. “It just doesn’t like me,” she mumbled, arms crossed over her chest. The batarian chuckled turned and flashed a grin her way.

“Can you blame it, Caen?” He snickered. “You’re kind of a pain in the ass.”

That was all it took to make those slate grey—near silver—eyes shine. “’Kind of’, huh? Is it safe to say that I’ve grown on you, little man?”

“Don’t let your panties set on fire just yet, kid. You’ve got a long way to go before I actually want to be around you.” _Yeah_ , he thought with an unreadable expression. _Maybe just a little, Jay._

The dark-skinned woman propped her feet onto the used poker table, watching the batarian take his leave. There were no goodbyes, or friendly smiles. Just competition, racist remarks, money, information, and a bottle of batarian ale. Nothing complicated ever happened.

 

But then…nothing was ever simple either. Not for Shepard.

 

* * *

 

 

“Welcome aboard the Normandy, Commander.”

Shepard nodded and flashed a small smile at the man. _What was his name again? Aiden? Kelly..? K…K… Um…_ Anderson appeared by her side, face blank. “Commander, I see you’ve met Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko.” She raised a brow as her eyes widened.

“I knew it was a K!” She hissed under her breath. A victorious grin stretched on her face. As she looked up, the two men regarded her with confused expressions. “Uh—Nice to meet you Lieutenant,” her hand moved towards the biotic. Kaidan took it in his own, his hand easily covering hers. Really? She thought.

Anderson chose this time to clear his throat. “Commander, might I have a word with you in private?” Shepard tilted her head as Alenko saluted and ran off to…somewhere. The Captain gestured to the elevator behind them. They moved together, two deadly soldiers with powerful gazes. Once on the elevator, Shepard leaned against the railing. “I’m guessing this will be more than just the average chit-chat, Captain.”

“Actually, this will be pretty short, but I need you to hear me out on this one. Our mission is to take the Normandy on a test run, put her through her pacers. The Alliance and the Council wants to see if the human and turian engineering is something really worth pushing for. Now, before you—“

“Wait, wait!” She held up both hands; this was getting wayward too quickly. “The _Council?_ What the hell does the Council—“

“I would tell you if let me finish,” the Captain growled. Shepard huffed defeat. “Ahem, as I was saying. The Council wanted to make sure that what the human and turian engineers did is worth pushing for. So they sent someone to make sure the process works out fine.”

He smiled a little as the elevator opened. “Ah, here he is now.”

There was nothing that made Shepard pissed like height. People who were taller than her were automatic enemies. And this guy was definitely taller than her. She scowled at the turian with white markings. “Commander Shepard, this is Spectre Nihlus Kyrik.” The turian raised his chin, the let it drop to his cowl.

“A pleasure, Commander,” his three-fingered hand was held out expectantly.

The commander fumed as she stepped out of the elevator and shook his hand. Oh fucking shit! He’s a whole head taller than me! Maybe two! Slowly she inhaled as the hand-shake ended. They should be leaving the Sol System in a few days, but apparently Anderson had some loose ties to take care of. More like hooker appointments to cancel, she thought with a snicker. “If you’ll excuse me,” Anderson said, taking his leave.

Her mouth dropped to the floor. She had to be left alone? With slim-jim?! Fucking shit, fucking shit. _Okay Caen, just handle this **verrryyy** delicately._

“Okay, well….I’ve got shit I gotta’ do so uh…Yeah.” The human disappeared down the hall, leaving a very amused Nihlus behind.

“Commander Caen Shepard,” he murmured under his breath. “She’s the perfect candidate for our cause.”

**. . .**

Sometimes Joker wonders why he took this job. Or why, exactly, he hasn't tripped and shattered his face on this ship yet. Damn turians and their angular schemes! He shifted in his seat, uneasy with the pair of eyes trained on him. She was right there in the left co-pilot seat just...watching him. Shepard jolted slightly as he lifted his hand to cough into it. Jeff finally turned to look at her, his emotionless face meeting hers.

"Uh...Everything alright, Commander?"

Shepard narrowed her eyes, bared the fangs in her mouth as she snarled, "Just fine, Lieutenant."

He expected that, really. But did she have to walk around with those monsters in her skull? "Okay, then-"

"How come you never leave the seat?"

His green snapped to her in shock. "What?"

Shepard shifted in her seat, turning her entire body to him as she continued. "You never leave your seat, not even when commanding officers are on board. You're supposed to get up and salute. Yet you didn't."

Joker blinked momentarily, ultimately just choosing to shrug this one off. "Brittle bones don't exactly allow for much room to move," he sounded bristled by the topic when in all honestly he felt that this wasn't a reprimand.

"Oh."

"'Oh?' That's it? You sure you don't want me to recite my file? Call in a list of recommendations? Hey, maybe a blood test if you're feeling fancy." Now he's just fucking around and they both knew it.

The Commander snorted opening her omni-tool to send him a ping. In return, Joker's omni-tool lit up like neon signs in the night and he turned a raised brow on her. Mimicking him from earlier, Shepard just shrugged. This time she stood though, stretching her limbs. "Save my seat, yeah?"

Joker flicked a hand in her general direction. "Sure, whatever."

"I mean it! You're the first real friend I've made on this ship! Well, besides Anderson and... Nope, you're the only one. With a Council Spectre aboard, it leaves me very little wiggle room to get around."

"Speaking of which, what do you think he's doing here?"

"Meh, hell if I know. Anderson is being pretty stoic on this one."

Joker snorted, "I bet."

"I guess I better get back to it. Thanks for the talk, Lieutenant Moreau."

He winced, feigning a painful hiss. "Joker, actually."

She turned last minute to flash a bright smile. "From Batman! I like it."

Shepard vacated the premises, leaving Joker to ponder his chances of flinging himself off the hull of the ship and surviving. Slim to none, he realized, since he could just hit the dock below it. And anyway, he probably would just die from the exhaustion of all the shattered bones shifting around. Wait, could he even get to the hull of the Normandy? Joker decided this would need some rethinking.

Meanwhile, Shepard burrowed into a make-shift home in the darkest corner of the ship. She pulled a palm-sized cube from her duffel bag and sat down on her cot to stare at it. It glowed as she brushed her fingers over a small indent marked around the corners. The metal cube glowed angelic white as it played the audio recording.

" _This is Commander S-S-Shepard! Requesting immediate extraction of civilians from Elysium. I repeat, immediate extraction from Elysium-m! Confirmed Batarian raiders a-are ground s-side. My team...d-didn't make it. Please, if anyone can hear this, send for the A-alliance._ "

Shepard stared at the cube's form until her eyes began to burn from the intensity of the light. She eventually shut it off, murmuring the words as she drifted into a thirty minute slumber.

_This is Commander Shepard._

_Requesting immediate extraction of civilians from planet Elysium._

_Confirmed Batarian raiders are ground side._

 

* * *

 

Nihlus studied the vague profile in front of him with a sense of mystery. How could one woman- dare he say, _child_ \- hold off a hundred batarians? On official record, Commander Shepard had been listed as a formidable N7 Vanguard. If he knew anything about Vanguards, they enjoyed working in close quarters. They had the tendency to carry around shotguns and not much else. He analyzed the circumstances; she couldn't have eliminated the resistance on close combat alone, she would have died. And it wasn't likely that she had many weapons or a lot of ammo on her either; she and her team were on shore leave.

The Spectre directed his attention to the enemy at the time. They were well equipped, those batarians, since they were apart of the Blue Suns. At least seven ships dropped off an average of fifteen strike teams a pop. Each strike team consisted of eight men. He sighed as he skimmed through file after file. Even before his interests in Shepard, he'd never crossed a file as vague as hers (when he left Saren out of the count). Nihlus couldn't even imagine how the situation down there must have been. Losing your team to a rigged transport in the first fifteen minutes of the assault. Attempting to secure thousands of civilians who had no military training whatsoever.

_Spirits, Shepard. I don't even know your entire story- hell I don't even really know you and I already want to drown myself in a bottle._

He supposed he could ask her, but that raise suspicion. And Caen Shepard tended to be awfully suspicious. _I'll have another look at these files. Maybe take a word with Captain Anderson. He knows her better than her mother does, I bet._

Even amidst the unnerving reports and several recommendations, he found himself reconsidering a few things. Not exactly about Shepard, just Humanity as a whole.

Nihlus leaned back in his chair, turned in his omni-tool and pinged someone he hadn't spoke to in several long years. She answered on the third dial. Probably dealing with Eclipse.

" _What._ " Tone curt, edged, though not in nervousness. Just the overall irritation. Ah yes, Eclipse indeed.

"Aria, I have a prospect for you. You might actually take a liking to this one."


	2. Framed Network

_By definition, memoir demands a certain degree of introspection and self-disclosure: In order to fully engage a reader, the narrator has to make herself known, has to allow her own self-awareness to inform the events she describes._ ~ **Caroline Knapp**

* * *

 

Anderson squinted at the report that scrolled across the main monitor located in his quarters. He hummed thoughtfully, gently swiping his calloused thumb across his chin in a back and forth motion. Without moving his gaze from the text, he called out to the darkness, "Classified."

A moment passed, maybe two, before a young Commander broke apart from the shadows to enter the hazy, blue glow of the screen.

"Wasn't gonna' ask about that, actually," Shepard explained as a natural biotic discharge rolled through her and momentarily illuminated her form in the darkness. "Wanted to know where we're heading to test the Normandy."

"You'll know soon enough, Shepard."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at his still posture as the blue glow highlighted the creases of old age and bloodshed carved into his face. She snapped her eyes to the partially opened case that neighbored his desk. Really it was just to mask the annoyance.

"Fine."

"Nothing should be hectic, Shepard. Besides, you need to take some shore leave; relax, have a drink."

"I did that before I boarded the ship."

"Six hours on a ' _military shopping spree_ ', as you like to put it, doesn't count."

"Complain all you want, Captain. I still refuse to go drinking with you and Sanders ever again." He turned an amused look in her direction, which boiled down to a grim expression as she continued. "We both know that the Alliance tests covert projects- important projects- under V.I. and A.I. hands in automated simulations before they allow an entire crew- with lengthy, colorful files- use said project. And even if they did, the Council would not have allowed a decorated Turian Spectre on board without full knowledge of the capabilities and the test report on this damn ship, sir. So I know there's more to this than you're letting on but I won't push you. It wouldn't be the first time I've been left in the dark."

The Commander sighed, running one hand over her face in order to keep the biotics at bay. She turned heel, left, leaving Anderson staring after her in open shock.

Shepard trudged past the mess hall, flicked a warp at the Med-Bay door to open it and strolled in to sit on a bed. Karin Chakwas glanced up from her terminal to look at the Commander with a sense of motherly concern.

"Don't tell me you've had a surge already," Chakwas called from the her desk. She turned in her chair to search one of the drawers for Shepard's medicine.

"No, I just-" Shepard rubbed her face in irritation. She already unsettled the pilot. Anderson didn't need the whole ship scrambling for information. "It's nothing. Had a bad dream and I just remembered it."

Chakwas clucked her tongue, striding towards the biotic and handing her the medicine. At once, Shepard unwrapped the candy delight and tasted the lollipop. She sighed, leaning back onto the bed.

"Thanks, doctor."

"Of course, Commander. Now since you're here, about that check-up-"

She bolted upright from the bed and trotted to the door. "On second thought, I should go." Shepard had the intentions of sauntering right out the door and into the cargo bay until she ran face first into the chest of Nihlus.

"Oh, Commander, I was just-"

"Shit, I didn't see you there-"

They halted in their speech to awkwardly meet gazes. Nihlus pulled himself to his full height as he made a quick apology. Shepard shrugged him off in a manner that was more cautious than nonchalant. "Something you needed, Spectre?"

He shook his head, extending a hand to the world outside the med-bay which she took as permission to haul ass. For a turian, Nihlus had no trouble keeping pace with Shepard. She briskly walked to end of the pod chamber and turned to him, her face expectant.

"What did you need?"

Nihlus chuckled lowly, always the mischievous bastard, as he took a step closer to Shepard, reaching a hand out. She bristled at him, but steeled herself as he didn't touch her; no, simply feeling the air around her as it cackled, hummed with energy of biotics.

"You're a biotic," he drawled.

"Good catch! Are all Spectres this slow to respond, or is it just you?"

"Temper, Commander, temper! Wouldn't want to risk a diplomatic incident, now would we?" Shepard flung her head at him. That movement seemed to stir something inside him because his vibrant green eyes narrowed and he looked about ready to strangle her if necessary. A heated moment that would mark the beginning of a friendship. Nihlus broke the tension, settling his three-fingered hand onto her shoulder.

The human sniffed.

The turian tilted his back in question.

She responded by charging her fists full of biotic energy.

Now that caught his attention. As a Spectre who regularly took missions, Nihlus had had his fair share of battles with creatures from across the galaxy; he narrowly escaped a Justicar. He peered closely at her hands because the overall violet glow possessed a faint crimson edge. It startled him, for lack of better words, and he calmly retracted his hand to gage her.

" _ **Uh, so, when you guys are done with the 'old west' stare down, I kept your seats warm as you both requested**_ ," Joker interrupted over the hail-COM. " ** _Thank you for flying Alliance Airways where we try to keep the sexual tension to a bare minimum._** "

Shepard's biotics dissipated from sight as she visibly relaxed. Nihlus offered his arm despite himself to which she growled and stalked to her locker to begin pulling on her armor. The turian kept his gaze on her a moment too long, then made his way to the bridge.

By the time Shepard made her way up, fully equipped, Nihlus was heading out after throwing a compliment over his shoulder to Joker.

"...call me paranoid."

Kaidan shook his head at the pilot. "You're paranoid. The Council has a right to send someone to look after the project they funded."

Before Joker could retort Shepard stepped in, "They only watch projects that are valuable in some shape way or form."

"So you're saying the _Normandy_ isn't?"

"No, I'm saying that when the Captain suddenly changes the mission objective to actually landing somewhere, and then requests his ground team to wear bulletproof vests under their monkey suits, someone is hiding something."

"Thank you! Someone with an inquisitive mind!" Joker flipped his hands in the air then jerked forward to place them back on the control panel. He turned his head back to grin at the Commander. "So-"

" _ **Status report, Lieutenant.**_ "

The pilot frowned at the use of formalities, trying to keep ahold of his virtual dignity. Anderson somehow managed to obliterate it every time he spoke to him. "Boards are green, Captain. Stealth systems are engaged and she's moving like a charm."

" _ **Good. Find a COMM boid and link us to it. I want reports sent back to the Alliance before we touch down on Eden Prime.**_ "

All three of the officers on deck shared a look. _Eden Prime, huh?_ Joker smirked, setting his course.

"Aye, aye, Captain. And brace yourself, sir, I think Nihlus is heading your way."

" _ **He's already here, Lieutenant.**_ " Well, there went his dignity. " _ **Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the COMM room for a debriefing.**_ "

"Yes, sir." The connection closed. "I'm guessing you caught that, Commander."

"Yup, but just in case, have him on speed dial. Never know when you could get lost on a ship the size of a pencil." Shepard leisurely made her way to the DR, stopping to chat with anybody and everybody on the way.

Joker spotted the L2 biotic chasing after the Commander with his eyes. He made a noise akin to gaging. Kaidan whipped around, his face catching fire and all the pilot could do was laugh.

"Dude. Seriously?"

"What I was just-"

"Staring at the Commander's ass, I know."

"I wasn't-"

"You're right, 'staring' is a creepy term. More like, ' _blissfully admiring_ '. What do you think? Too hanar for your tastes?"

" _Joker_!"

 

. . .

 

Shepard was currently swimming in a pool of stupor. Anderson and Nihlus conversed enthusiastically; deciding which missions to collaborate on, how to incorporate the Normandy. Hey, trail out on the Traverse for a few weeks. They were bound to catch dozens of crime lords! She gritted her teeth at them. She felt betrayed by this man who, out of trillions, she called father. And he just threw her, head first, into a political shit-storm for 'the good of humanity'.

Fuck humanity! She just had to restrain herself from killing Nihlus not even twenty minutes ago!

"Like hell he is."

Her murmur had not gone unnoticed as they both examined her. Anderson prodded the beast first, "What was-"

"I said, _like hell he is_. If you think that I'm just going to lay down and take it up the ass for the good of humanity-"

"Commander Shepard!"

"Then Nihlus can go fuck himself." The turian in question flickered his mandibles in an amused expression as the renegade side of this woman decided to show. Perhaps those files held some sort of truth of her antisocial, chaotic methods.

The Captain opened his mouth, to yell at her, no doubt, but Joker beat him to the punch. Shepard briefly wondered if he did this in flight school..

" _ **Captain, sudden transmission from Eden Prime. You'll want to see this one, sir.**_ "

The Captain settled for silent reprimanding as he nodded at the projection set. "Play the transmission."

This particular vid immediately started off in a deeper level of hell as soldiers scrambled to dodge what appeared to be plasma bolts exiting the guns of unseen forces. The man relaying the situation barely had time to finish as he jolted, paralyzed from the bullet that struck him and fell somewhere dead off screen. Joker explained how there was no further transmissions after this one. Which meant one of two things.

One; shit got out of hand in a matter of minutes and soldiers couldn't cut across to the COMM tower to give an update.

Or two; everyone is pretty much dead.

"A small strike team can move in quickly to assess and disable these... mercenaries," Nihlus thrummed the word. "Where should we meet?"

"Cargo hold," Anderson flickered his eyes to Caen, set his hand on her shoulder. She sighed as she met his gaze. Nihlus left to go get his equipment. "I know this isn't... Look, we'll just have to discuss this later. Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up. You'll be hitting ground side."

Shepard did just that, only to find Jenkins limp in an unconscious pulp, slumped in the corner as Kaidan towered over his form. Engineer Adams winced when she approached; judging from the Lieutenant's expression, this was all just a bad accident. At the wrong time.

Accident, nonetheless. So she eased back the urge to biotic slap him around the entire ship.

"Don't tell me Alenko," he jerked upright at the sound of his name tumbling off of her scarred mouth. "He wanted to see you do a trick, right?"

Kaidan nodded vigorously, not trusting his voice.

"And someone startled ya'," another nod, "and then you transported him into the wall."

"Yes ma'am, I-"

"No time. Come with me; we're hitting ground side on Eden Prime."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

As Anderson trudged downstairs to give them the one-two, he raised a furry brow at the absence of Jenkins. "Out cold," the Commander explained. "Doc said he won't be going anywhere with those broken bones for months." Kaidan winced in reaction, looking entirely apologetic, but stayed silent as Shepard had told him to.

"Great. Joker! Forget the first drop-point, head for the second!"

" _ **Understood, Captain.**_ "

Nihlus rounded the corner, shotgun in hand. "What's going on?"

"We lost a squad-mate for the ground team. You'll have to go with them.

"I move faster on my own."

Anderson shook his head, "This isn't the time for a debate, Spectre. Go with Shepard and secure the beacon. Look at this as an excuse to assess the battlefield with a team." And by that, he meant to see Shepard go to work against her enemies, live shot.

He couldn't really argue with Anderson on that. When Joker approached drop-point two, he flared his mandibles at Shepard telling her to be responsible since 'the mission is hers now'. She grunted, arming her sleek, silver shotgun in one hand. Their boots hit the earth known as Eden Prime, unknowingly killing critters as they walked about.

Years from now, she would wonder how things would have turned out if Kaidan hadn't been frightened by Engineer Adams and gotten Jenkins injured. The possibilities would be endless, all ending in different scenarios. She simply could laugh at all the different universes it may or may not have created.

Right now, she is the young Commander Caen Shepard- possible Spectre candidate I might add- whose mission is to secure the Prothean beacon containing chilling knowledge.

 

 

 

And I?

I am only know as Syndicate.

My only goal is to tell of her story.

How she came to be and how she ended.


	3. Dream A Little Dream

‘ _ I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now? _ ’ -John Lennnon

* * *

 

Nihlus lifted his chin as the breeze whipped around them. He inhaled gently, paused, then started to stride off down the hill. Shepard followed after checking the radio on her omni-tool and syncing up with the other males. She studied her surroundings in a gust of bravado, greeting each plant and rock to her steely gaze. Here, she relaxed despite the smell of death close by. Another fact; her nose could find an enemy before her radar did. 

They pushed forward, each soldier minding how the others moved. Eventually they came along a path where corpses burnt to crisps lay. 

"Huh. And you'd think you'd finally hear the end of those planetary bon-fires on the extranet." Shepard waggled her eyebrows at her squad-mates. Nihlus huffed, amused, as Kaidan cringed. She brought up her omni-tool to take a scan but the turian interjected.

 

"Civilians are secondary objective. They're no good dead now, anyway." 

 

The Commander glanced back at Nihlus, nodded. "Right. Let's move." 

 

They descended down a path that wound its way through this minute clearing peppered with rocks. No further bodies made themselves known. Shepard held up a fist, scanned the area, sniffed. Waited. She armed her pistol- a hand cannon she'd been able to buy with her poker winnings- signaled Nihlus to move forward. The air shifted under them then. Nihlus made the smart move, he ducked behind a rock instead of moving into the unguarded path.

 

Unfamiliar machinery whirred as it spat sizzling bullets at the rock the Spectre currently hid behind. He growled when he realized the damn thing wouldn't stop until the rock swept away and he got caught in the hailstorm. 

 

"Hey Spectre!"

 

Scorching green irises snapped to daring silver-spur.

 

He didn't know why at this moment, but he suddenly was reminded of how much he hated the thought of returning to Palaven. 

 

Shepard wiggled her eyebrows that seemed to be smoothly placed upon her brown skin. 

 

"Duck!"

 

She didn't need to tell him twice. He kept low, catching the movement of her arm whipping around from behind. Suddenly the machine exploded into an endless storm of bits and pieces. Shepard didn't give him the chance to say anything as she skipped on ahead behind another rock some feet from his position. Alenko trekked after, sitting on the opposite side of the path, his assault rifle drawn and ready. Sure enough more of the little bastards made their way about. The turian counted three. He relayed this info back to Shepard then switched out his shotgun for the assault rifle secured on his back. 

 

"On my word, Alenko!"

 

"Ma'am!"

 

Shepard peeked out from the rock, giggled, then shouted back at Nihlus, "Give 'em some hell, Spectre!"

 

He held up a hand in an affirmative, a gesture he'd thought long gone with his military career. Engaging his disruptor ammo, he peppered away at the shields of each bot before switching his focus to the next. Shepard gave the call for Alenko to make his move, which he did in civilized manner. His biotics flared once, twice; the machines were hurtled not  _ away _ from them, but rather  _ toward  _ Shepard. She raised her gun to squeeze three rounds into some unknown vulnerable spot. Regardless, all three of them exploded upon impact leaving a very pleased Commander.

 

"Not bad boys. Although you would've had your ass handed to you if you were a second late on those biotics, Alenko." She wiggled her eyebrows again to his embarrassment. Kaidan stood tall, offered his best salute.

 

"Ma'am, I- I understand. And it won't happen again, Commander."

 

Shepard, nonchalant as always, waved him off and replied, "I know you're killing yourself over Jenkins, but this isn't the time to do it. I need your 200 percent right now. If you can't give me that, you might as well be on the other end of my shotgun. Understood?"

 

"Yes ma'am!" 

 

"Good. Oi, Spectre! I hope you're scaly ass- oh. There you are." Nihlus rolled his eyes at her as she turned her head to meet his gaze. "Any idea what these things are? They're not like any security mechs  _ I've _ ever seen. And even if they were..."

 

Kyrik shook his head. "They would have recognized you both as human. It is a human colony. I don't like this, and right now, I'm open to any and all theories."

 

Shepard motioned for them to move along, keeping pace with Nihlus as Kaidan walked drag. "In other words, you have your own ideas."

 

"Somewhat," he growled, flicking some function on his assault rifle. If it could even be called that with how sleek and toned it appeared to be. "This could all just be an invasion by mercenaries. I'd say by the look of those drones...Eclipse."

 

"Mm, possible," Shepard answered chewing around a ration she pulled from her pack. Which really happened to be a soda can sized pouch secured on her unoccupied right hip. 

 

Nihlus continued. "Though I don't think I've seen a model like that despite their 'expertise'."

 

"No, too many holes. A few weeks ago, some Citadel reporter was covering the dismantlement of an Eclipse tech sanction. Said it would definitely set their organized crime back a few years. Although, that entire report could have been fabricated."

 

Alenko coughed behind them, "Depends on which reporter sent it out."

 

"E. Wong, if memory serves me right."

 

"She's liable," Nihlus and Kaidan said in unison, turning to each other and sparring knowing glances. 

 

"This op is too low key for mercenaries to just start showing up. Even if in a worst case scenario, that one of the colonists, scientists, or soldiers relayed info out onto the market; they couldn't have arrived without at least some minimal detection by our sensors," Shepard grumbled unhappily as she gazed longingly at the empty wrapper in her hand. She didn't use an ounce of biotics yet she already started to get hungry. 

 

' _ Anxious to start sparking through the field? You could scare off your squadmates, you know, _ ' her conscience teased. 

 

The turian nodded, voicing how he believed her logic to be sound. So they were up against unknowns at the moment, just a lot of speculation to keep them momentarily sated. All it did for Caen is wound her up. The biotic amp on the back of her neck flared taint red mixed in angelic blue as another involuntary pulse ran over her body. 

 

These shivers gave her some sort of grounding as they engaged another group of notorious drones.

 

. . .

 

Kaidan eyed the soldier waving at them, his lips pressed into this thin line of wary old man. The leader of the group, however, contrasted in her delightful expression and gleeful greeting.

 

"I'm Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy! Who are you? Where's the rest of your squad? We're here to extract the Prothean beacon; where is it by the way? Any idea what happened to the tech heads digging it up? Can you give me a run-down of what happened here?" 

 

The soldier squared from head to toe in heavy, coal armor, saluted and immediately began to answer the Commander. "Corpsmen Nirali Bahtia. I was apart of the two-twelve, Commander. We're missing a Gunnery Chief that recently transferred to another colony; other than her, the two-twelve unit... fell to well- what I believe to be- Geth squadrons," Nirali swallowed thickly, nodding at the dark-skinned woman as she set her helmet on the ground. 

 

No one moved, not one yet willing to risk interrupting her. Especially after the word.

 

' _ That fucking word _ ,' Shepard thought. Something about its nature made her spine crawl and fingers twitch. 

 

Geth. 

 

_ Dear God _ , where were these shivers coming from?

 

Nirali began again, mapping out the answers to the questions in her head. She arranged what happened so this new squad could make sense of what happened. "The last place I found the Prothean beacon was in the campground far ahead. The scientists... or 'tech heads', I suppose... they moved the beacon just this morning to the docks and were preparing for delivery. Not too long after that, the Geth squadrons tore through everything; the colonists, the platoons, the scientists... It did not matter whether you stood in their way or not. The last platoon had been able to report a heavily armored turian before losing contact."

 

Bahtia shifted her focus on Nihlus who simply remained in his leisure stance. Shepard shooed her suspicions aside, explaining how he happened to be the "Holy Spectre of Council Uptightness". 

 

This Gunnery Chief caught her interest. "The transfer you mentioned earlier, when did she leave?"

 

"Nine days ago. You would have to check the records for the transfer destination."

 

"The Chief didn't say where she was going?" 

 

"Feros, I think. It's a small world with many wonders. Chief Williams could just as well have been detoured and shipped off elsewhere," Nirali murmured, her Indian accent weighing down her words. 

 

"Why's that?" Shepard tilted her head.

 

Bahtia hesitated for a moment. Her hands flexed on her sniper rifle, "Her name is Gunnery Chief Ashley  _ Williams _ , ma'am. A name many are not fond of."

 

"Oh shit," Kaidan muttered, eyes wide. Nihlus flared his mandibles, knowing what she meant as well. How could they not?

 

"I don't see what a last name has to do with this, but I'll take your word for it. Anyway, we need you to show us the route to the cargo port or at least point us in the right direction," Shepard wrapped up, squaring her feet.

 

The soldier nodded, sharp and quick, as she took point and lead them up into the camp. On the way, the original dig site of the beacon gleamed hauntingly at them. Nirali filled in the smaller details, trying to bring as much color to the situation as possible. Shepard questioned about what Bahtia's theories may be on what the Geth were doing here. The corpsmen truly felt they were here to snatch the Prothean beacon; why else would they attack  _ this _ human settlement after 300 years behind the Veil? 

 

Details were missing, clearly. Shepard felt that Nirali presented the truth for her in the barest form. In other words, she had no reason to believe that this woman posed any threat to the colonists. Shepard decided she hadn't been behind the attacks. 

 

Strangely enough, Nihlus kept quiet during these discussions, choosing to process how the Commander went about seeking information. Perhaps a little unorthodox at first in the manner questions zipped out of her mouth faster than insults did. He think he understood why though. Caen dealt in this sort of situation before, on Elysium, except on colonist terms. She appeared to Bahtia as a bit eccentric, though her mannerisms over time evolved into slow motions as the soldier revealed more to her. 

 

He couldn't fathom as to why it worked so well. 

 

And  _ he's _ the decorated Spectre!

 

He spoke only once to ask, "Tell me about the turian the last platoon spotted." 

 

Bahtia jumped momentarily (to his rumbling amusement), looking to Shepard for permission. The Commander nodded, flashing a sickening grin that displayed the teeth.

 

"Heavily armored with silver leather-"

 

"She means skin," the female biotic clarified.

 

"They said it looked like the turian had cybernetics," Nihlus bristled, continuing to trudge along with the humans. "Last seen giving orders to Geth units."  

 

"You're sure?" Nihlus pressed in his best nonchalant tone.

 

A determined nod and a further explanation from the Corpsmen. Apparently someone by the name of Bourbon had the best pair of eyes in the Terminus. He doubted this- naturally. On one hand, he didn't feel surprised that Saren had been mulling about an attacked human colony. Spirits only knew how much he despised the varied aliens. In his other palm lay the fact that Saren might be the one behind these very attacks. 

 

A portion of Nihlus wanted Saren to not have his head so far up his ass that he would actually pull this kind of stunt. Several different pieces agreed that if he indeed was, he couldn't let Saren jeopardize all that he'd done to secure Shepard's future in the Spectres. 

 

Best case scenario?

 

This 'Bourbon' could be as blind as bat and have mistakened a Geth for Saren Arterius. 

 

Saren Arterius; the baddest motherfucker to have ever inhaled oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. 

 

Worst case?

 

He'd have to face his mentor of several years after a bad fall-out as enemies instead of friends. 

 

Oh, and did he mention defend the very human he wanted to mentor in the way of the Spectre? Technically there isn't really a way of the Spectre, just a.way of the Nihlus-

 

' _ Will you quit it? You're driving us both up the wall. _ '

Sighing, Nihlus shifted his rifle, earning a questioning glance from the male human. ' _ What was his name? Caius? No, that's a name derived from Cipritine Common. Kira? Khan? ...Alenko. Yeah. Let's stick with that. _ '

 

"You okay, Nihlus?"

 

"I am. I'm afraid I can't say the same for the colony."

 

Shepard perked up. She glanced at the turian over her shoulder, "I know the geth are here, but there's a good chance that a lot of these colonists survived. They didn't hit the whole planet."

 

"This is regarding the turian Corpsmen Bahtia mentioned," again, he shifted the weapon in his hands. "I can't confirm or deny anything until I get a visual. This turian might be Saren Arterius."

 

"The Spectre?" Bahtia voiced the disbelief of all of them. "How are you sure?"

 

Nihlus shook his head, "I'm not. But how many turians with cybernetics do you see on a daily basis?"

 

"I've never seen a turian with cybernetics," Shepard commented.

 

"Exactly. If this is Saren's doing, then.. it might be more than just a simple raid and kidnapping of the beacon happening. Knowing him."

 

The Commander snorted through her nose, an action they all became accustomed to rather quickly. They approached a small camp. Alenko advised caution, as it happened to be a good place to ambush someone. Her nostrils twitched, picking up the smell of flesh. And blood.

 

And a hint of metallic. 

 

"Someone's still here, all right. If we find Saren, we'll question him. So check your targets. Understood?" Each soldier gave their consent. 

 

"Awesome. Move out." 


	4. The Hero, the Villian, the Galaxy in Distress

‘ _ To be heroic does not have to mean possessing the ability to stand against the evils of the world, either well or successfully, but just that one is willing to stand _ .’ 

― Mike Alsford

* * *

 

" _ RARRGHH!! _ "

 

"What the fuck  _ are _ those?"

 

"Stay focused! Bahtia, I need you perched. Alenko, give me some barrier support. Spectre-"

 

"Shields down!"

 

Shepard grinned, her helmet gleaming in the dim light of fire and sun. She aimed her shotgun at one of the glowing zombies running towards the group, then squeezed the trigger. It staggered at the impact, looking down to find its arm missing. It howled, continuing its onslaught. She growled under her breath. One tracked to Kaidan who was warping one after the other. Her lips twitched as the limbless creature staggered one step too close to her. 

 

Her biotics flared, encasing in an ultra-violet, crimson swirl. Bringing her hands together in fists, Shepard picked up the moaning zombie, lifted it in the air and pulled her wrists apart in one forceful strike. Its body tore in half. Blood, metal, and Goddess knows what else littered the ground it once stood on. Nihlus' mouth went slack at the sight. He'd never seen anyone do that. 

 

And dear spirits, even though he's sure he just pissed himself, he wanted to see it again.

 

You know, because she just tore a thing in half.

 

Using biotics.

 

Meanwhile, the commander switched out her shotgun for the standard pistol. Her biotics flared as more things tried to surround her. Their eyes were sunken; just an empty void staring back. No soul to remain. Their mouths were kept agape, opened wide as they hissed, moaned, even gurgled. Bahtia managed to take down two while Nihlus aimed his omni-tool at her. 

 

The computer inside her suit sounded that told her that her shields were down.

 

' _ What the fuck just happened, _ ' she growled internally, shifting her stance to encase her body in solidified barriers. Before she could attempt to do so, her suit warned her of an overdrive in the main composit on her back. It broke. ' _ It fucking broke?!'  _ Nihlus tapped drastically over his omni-tool as it spewed several different options in his face.

 

This trick of his had been gained years back from a close encounter with an old friend, but he knew it proved useful. Lower her shields and outsource them to the suit's main battery. Manually reestablish the security drive and...

 

Shepard cursed loudly as her shields came back in full force- in fact, too much force as her armor shook uncontrollably to release an outburst. The discharge effectively burnt her opponents to unrecognizable crisps. She straightened her posture once Nihlus went into an involuntary fit of chortles. Frowning, the Commander snapped her glare towards the turian as the others regrouped to their position. Apparently the force of the blast knocked down the shields of the monsters long enough to let them push back. 

 

Nihlus stood up, making his way over to Bahtia- much to her dissatisfaction. "That went smoothly."

 

Shepard growled at her squadmate. "What the hell was that, Spectre?" She didn't even pause to wait for an answer before turning on her heel and marching further ahead. Kaidan and Bahtia trotting to keep up with her brisk pace. Spectre Kyrik trailed behind appearing as smug as ever. 

 

"A neural blast."

 

" _ Mind speaking plain? _ " 

 

His exaggerated sigh irked her in ways that made Kaidan's skin crawl with utter fear. "Works a bit like neural shock, but you can arrange to quick trigger shields to extend in a reactive blast. Not as...explosive as yours, of course. But that was impressive."

 

Caen grumbled under her breath to release the boiling anger crawling within the caverns of her mind. ' _ Breathe. Focus on objective. Kill Spectre later. _ ' "Bahtia. That housing over there?" ' _ Okay...better. _ '

 

Bahtia lifted her head in curiousity, "Ah yes, some of the scientists-"

 

"Show me," Shepard growled as she marched towards the one on the right. Her eye twitched upon finding the red panel. Bahtia leaned forward to put in the pin, but the Commander took her own action. She surged fist full of dark energy and effectively drove it through the pin panel. All three of her teammates stepped back in the opposite direction of her person.

 

Clearly, she's pissed.

 

The doors slid open at once before she decided to kick them down. Coughing, the dark skinned female shuffled in to find two people cuddled together in absolute panic. The female of the huddle stood, appearing relieved and yet somewhat horrified.

 

"Oh thank God. I thought those Geth synthetics... I-I'm so glad you're here." Her emeralds irises shifted to Bahtia's form entering the cabin, lighting at once. "Bahtia! You're okay?"

 

"Thanks to the Commander and her squad," she replied, gesturing to the three taking up most of what little space was provided. Manuel slinked forward, his eyes narrowed as he peered at Nihlus.

 

"No hope, no salvation. Because of... of your ignorance to realize the truth!" Manuel muttered urgently.

 

Shepard hummed at Manuel’s outburst. Dr. Warren released an exhausted sigh, soothingly placing a palm upon Manuel’s shoulders. She whispered reassurances to him for a moment then met eyes with the commander. 

 

“Genius and madness are two sides of the same coin. I made sure he took his medication- especially after the mess that transpired. It will take some time for it to work.”

 

Shrugging, Shepard questioned her on what happened. Dr. Warren recalled as much as she could from what had happened that morning; extending the monorail to further build the colony, digging through wreckage to find the top of the Prothean artifact, and then hailing the Alliance. The Commander looked about the housing, taking in its cramped, closed-in walls. She eyed Manuel for a moment. He mumbled to himself as his wry, scratched hands rubbed in painful movements.

 

Scents of gunpowder and anesthetic passed between each group. 

 

Then, “So they just came out of nowhere?”

 

Dr. Warren’s head snapped up in surprise. “I...I’m sorry?”

 

Shepard turned her head to Kaidan, whom had chosen to speak at that moment. His eyes showed a clear question to which she just shrugged again. The Sentinel cleared his throat, taking a step towards Dr. Warren. “The Geth. You said that everything seemed pretty routine and then they just showed up. Nothing on the planetary raidars, no warnings. They just appeared?”

 

“Why...yes. I can’t give you any specifics regarding what may or may not have been displayed on our sensors, but...when the Geth arrived, most of the people who died here died because they didn’t have time to react to their arrival.”

 

“Sounds advanced as fuck if they didn’t show on your sensors. But I’m no Geth expert,” Shepard drawled. “Alenko, keep that in mind for later. Dr. Warren, Manuel; you guys gotta’ stay here until we can stabilize the situation.” By her last words, her team was already clearing out of the room. 

 

She exited the unit, paused, and stuck her head back in the door. 

“Oh, and you probably want to head over to the other unit. I kind of killed the lock on this one. Take care!”

 

Warren’s face became about as pale as a quarian’s as she ushered Manuel outside to do just that. 

 

Ugh.

 

The nerve of some people. 

 

**. . .**

 

A dock worker, someone who tended to get his hands into the thick of things, shuddered as an overtowering turian stalked about the port. Sweat slid from Powell’s brow to dribble along his face and pool at the top of his shirt. Shit, when did it get so damn  _ hot _ on Eden Prime?

 

His breathing became erratic. 

 

Heavier.

 

Shallowier.

 

Louder.

 

Saren, who had been absent-mindedly gazing at one of the Geth troopers, tilted his head backwards to view the boxes behind him. Through the gaps, Powell watched as Saren took a step closer to his position. And God help him, he couldn’t take it. He launched himself backwards out of fear, knocking over several crates and heavy cylinder that landed on his leg with a sickening crunch. 

 

Powell cried out in pain, hands automatically reaching to cradle his shin, but the warm barrel of a sleek heavy pistol halted him from doing so. Quivering, his darkened eyes flickered upwards to view glowing cerulean. Saren growled under his breath.

 

“A waste. And if you had kept quieter, perhaps you could have lived.” Powell began to cry now, begging for his life. Saren could only sneer. “Live? You want to  _ live _ ? I am doing your species- this  _ galaxy _ \- a favor by ending your life now. Only those willing to sacrifice can coexist with them.” 

 

Now, Powell might have asked who exactly ‘them’ happened to be, but his words were caught on a bullet. The shot rang out through the near-empty valley, heard by all who still remained. Shepard and Nihlus shared glances.

 

“ _ Double time it! _ We are getting that fucking beacon, even if I gotta lose an arm for it!” 

 

They sprinted full speed, halting as they watched a monstrous construction rise to leave the very planet it rendered useless. Shepard could count the times she fucked herself over during a mission. She added another tally mark. 

 

‘ _ What the fuck is going on here. _ ’


	5. Politics Make Me Giddy

‘ _ We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. _ ’ -Charles R. Swindoll

 

* * *

 

The cargo port was in pretty bad shape, creaking on its bare bones. It groaned as Nihlus took a step too close to a scorched platform. Hunks or grand scraps of metal marked the port like freckles on a child that develops affection for the ever constant rays of sunlight. A column of ivory colored paneling towered above the people that remained there casting an eerie lime shadow across them all. Shepard gave the beacon an equally menacing stare in reciprocation then paced back towards the stairs as she hailed the  _ Normandy _ . Joker answered easily enough spinning the ship back around to head for their location. 

 

Nihlus stood just a few steps from Shepard, his keen eye on the beacon, searching for any other disturbances. He figured that Alliance patrol would arrive soon enough and felt the need to keep a touch on this colony even after they left. Spirits knew how corporations were ruthless in pulling their funding for colonies-  _ especially  _ human colonies. 

 

Kaidan and Bahtia keep easy conversation just a short feet within the beacon. “It’s odd how it glows now… It wasn’t doing that when the archeologists first eroded the machinery,” Bahtia explained, her head swiveling in the direction of the beacon. 

 

The Lieutenant frowned as he turned to view the ancient piece of technology himself. “So...what exactly made it react like that?”

 

He took a step forward just as Bahtia turned her back to him. Had she seen him, she would have gripped his arm without a second thought to keep him from touching the beacon. But she didn’t.

 

Lime lighting danced around the beacon then pulsed intensely, responding to Kaidan’s presence immediately. He curled in on himself in this poor attempt to break his latch between he and the beacon. It continued to pull however slowly. Shepard and Nihlus cursed rushing forward to grab him. Shepard knew she didn’t have time and instead used her biotics to surge her forward. Her body knocked into the Lieutenant’s but she was ready; her arms encircled him and twisted him out of the direction of the beacon. He went tumbling into safety while the other three watched helplessly as the power of beacon lifted her off of the ground. 

 

“Shepard!” Nihlus growled, his eyes shifting between her and the contraption. He considered shooting it, but he knew there was the possibility he could kill her. And the knowledge stored inside of it?

 

Kaidan thought he could do the same thing and pull her out the beacon’s harm but Nihlus’ firm glare and Bahtia’s arm kept him from moving further. “It is too late now,” Bahtia murmured her earth-toned irises zeroing in on the young Commander. 

 

Shepard gasped involuntarily. 

 

Images..

 

Images. 

 

_ Images. _

 

**_Images._ **

 

Death, synthetics, somewhere...changing, conforming into...Into...Geth? 

 

Wires twisting with flesh, metal mending with bone and converting living beings into something new entirely. Something dark and unspoken of, a  _ husk _ of their former selves… or whatever  they were before that. 

 

Her biotics flared, her silver irises brightening as a hunter green shimmer moved over them. They continued to flare, encircling her and encompassing. Her ears registered a frightened shout of ‘she’s going to lose it’ and maybe even ‘we need to get to cover’, but her mind did not register or record such sounds. 

 

All she could feel, see, taste, touch, and hear was destruction. 

 

Her destruction. 

 

Their destruction. 

 

It ended too quickly, too violently. 

 

The biotic amp on Shepard’s body overheated from the swirl of crimson and violet encompassing her. Her arms spasmed uncontrollably. Breath hitched, face beginning to sweat, her biotics lashed outwards destroying the beacon and knocking her back several yards. Bahtia reached her first in her motherly panic, trying to wake her from this  slumber. It was no use. Kaidan turned on his omni-tool to scan the Commander but when she shook again with biotic tremors he let her be. 

 

Nihlus, again, hailed the  _ Normandy _ . 

 

“We need evac immediately. Have the med-bay on prep, Shepard’s down.” 

 

**. . .**

 

Karen Chakwas observed the woman frowning and muttering in her dream state. ‘REM sleep’ labeled the Commander’s current state of consciousness; she was having a vision of some sort judging from the manner in which her eyes continuously shift under the machines monitors. Chakwas hummed thoughtfully as she strode across the room to decipher Shepard’s current vital numbers. Another biotic sat silent within medical bay, his eyes closed, hands lifted partially as he emitted a biotic barrier to encase the commander. On routine she would emit dangerous biotic flares that countered Kaidan’s barriers heavily leaving him straining for energy in his chair. It’d been a eight hours since the last surge, Chakwas noticed, and she urged the L2 biotic to ease off and take a rest. 

 

He obliged, shuffling out of the med bay only to run into Nihlus. They exchanged expressions; Kaidan’s a silent look of stressed tension and Nihlus with his steely, ‘I’m respectable’ gaze. Nihlus dropped his shoulders, a turian mannerism that displayed empathy as well as understanding on another’s part. The human sighed then gestured to Shepard still on the table. 

 

He licked his lips, speaking in a dried tone, “She’s still unconscious. Dr. Chakwas said she thinks her flares have settled for now, but…”

 

“Good to hear,” Nihlus nodded. 

 

Again, Kaidan scratched behind his neck that spoke qualms to the amount of guilt weighing heavy on his shoulders. Finally the Spectre reached out to give the Alliance soldier a reassuring pat explaining to him that this situation is exactly why they are expected to be an attentive on the battlefield. Not to mention that Shepard's the second soul he's inadvertently knocked into a coma. Kyrik slithered past as Kaidan decided to gather some energy with food and maybe a couple of bullets lodged in his foot. The 21st century kind of bullet. 

 

When he caught sight of the Commander, her nostrils flared as they exhaled roughly. Her body twisted , straining against the medical red tape laced across her body, then under the table. Nihlus clicked his tongue without a single thought. The doctor lifter her head at the sharp sound to train her eyes on the turian. He offered but a sheepish tilt of his head then beelined to hover next to the biotic. Shoulders twitched slightly, rolling ever so carefully under the red tape. Then her eyes fluttered and her hands clenched. She began jolting violently as her body awoke, hands curling into steady fists and pumping themselves film of biotics. Blinking, Nihlus minutes to her in a tone weighing heavy in dual tones that was usually reserved for young children. 

 

"Shepard you're fine. You're in the medbay on the  _ Normandy _ ." Dull colors of violet and crimson flickered then began to die down. "That's it. Now," Nihlus raised a hand to gesture the doctor over without turning his attention from the female before him. "I know this isn't the best time to humiliate you, but I would like to point out that I carried from the surface of Eden Prime onto to this very table easily."

 

She groaned, glancing up at a busy Chakwas untying the red tape for confirmation. Karen chuckled as if to say 'sorry dear'. "I fucking hate you, Nihlus," Shepard muttered her body carefully sitting up once she was free. She slid off of the table only to put her support on it. 

 

"And just when I thought we were beginning to build something special, you wound me Commander."

 

"Pipe it, before I  _ actually _ wound you."

 

Nihlus slithered away from her form pressing one palm to chest to insinuate injury. She rolled her eyes then turned her attention to the expert military-trauma doctor. Said medical professional suggested she go speak to Anderson once she felt she could walk properly. The biotic grumbled some colorful remarks at explaining her vision to the Captain. Stumbling the slightest, she fled out the door, Nihlus trailing closely behind her. Her temper became the best of the human (it tended to do that around the Nihlus in particular) and she sent a mild insult over her shoulder. Much to her chargen the turian only chuckled and broadened his stride to match her every step. 

 

Speaking in low tones, he offered, “I’m sure your Captain will hold each of your words with integrity. He will not question your judgement on this.”

 

Her eyes took a heavy combat roll. “You don’t know him like I do. And honestly, I wouldn’t blame him for calling me bat shit crazy…”

 

“...bat? As in the instrument you use in Earth sports?”

 

“No, as in the animal.” 

 

“ _ Ah. _ You’re culture is incredibly contradicting. Who would think to give the same name of a piece of sport equipment to an animal?”

 

“Ever heard of ‘ _ no one gives a flying fuck _ ’?”

 

“See, now that’s misleading as well. Since when do fucks fly? Or are humans using some sort of asari based tricks to  _ get around _ ?”

 

She couldn’t help it; she actually laughed. 

 

And almost vomited for doing so. 

 

**. . .**

“The Citadel. Heh. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the piece of shit.”

 

“Shit? All due respect ma’am, it’s larger than all of our spaceports  _ combined _ . Don’t you think it’s at least a tad bit interesting?”

 

“Mm. Something tells me you’re just throwing all of these compliments because Nihlus is babysitting.” 

 

The mentioned turian chuckled from his chair positioned closest to the airlock of the  _ Normandy  _ as he ran through a few standard calibrations on the main guns. Joker had long since given up trying to convince him to let them be when he noticed a slight performance enhancement in the ship’s systems. In fact, they both seemed to be more lenient of the other now that the ominous tension of dealing with Eden Prime faded away. Kaidan took his original seat on Joker’s right and Shepard took the left. She conveyed her utmost pleasure at the feeling of the abrasive seat as she sank into it, her biotics doing much of the talking. 

 

Other than the occasional small talk, not much had been said between the group of four. 

 

Joker yawned allowing his arms to settle onto his lap. It’d be a few hours before they reached the Citadel- if that. Might as well strike up a decent conversation to keep his thoughts muddled and to stop his fingers from simultaneously twitching. 

 

“So...Bats,” his tongue rolled over the nickname Shepard insisted he used around her. The Commander did that snort-growl thing that only meant she was mildly amused and swung her leg over her left armrest to let it dangle freely. 

 

“How many times exactly have you visited the Citadel?” Joker raised his eyebrows in genuine curiosity. They were all wondering. Alliance soldiers typically didn’t head out on the space station for shore leave. It happened to be more like a touch and go base for the ships dressed in navy blue. 

 

Shepard hummed thoughtfully, “hard to say. Spent a few holidays celebrating for the grandparents. Occasional trip for some advanced hardware. Occasional screw up that had C-Sec notified and required my presence for...confirmation. Other than that, touch and go for refuel.”

 

“Citadel Security? Really, Commander?” Nihlus raised a brow-plate to showcase his mockingly stern expression yet the question in his eyes were no facade. 

 

“Every dog has his day,” she drawled, her eyes glinting when she found the controls to unlock the windows. An infinite amount of stars twinkled, grinning wide at the sharp toothed human. “Not going to give you all of the details, but the guy they sent to pick me up from dry dock?” She whistled low and long. 

“Old enough to my dad, I’m sure, or old enough to have kids in general. Real strict. A ‘breathe at the wrong angle and I’ll rip your lung from your arsehole’ kind of guy. Amusing at first, but irrelevant down the line. For a grumpy old turian, he wasn’t half bad. I didn’t at the time, but I’ve grown to really like him. Probably because he whipped my nineteen year old ass into shape,” she remarked, grinning at the sound of the guys laughter. 

 

“Maybe you might see him when we dock. You remember his name?” Kaidan inquired. 

 

She tensed at that, then relaxed with a dry huff. “No. But it doesn’t matter. After all was said and done and the situation was solved, he said that I reminded him of his own brats. He figured he should be at home raising them, not on the Citadel handling the ass end of someone else’s bullshit. When I went there a month after searching for the old fuck, he had retired.” 

 

Snorting, Shepard gazed at the spheres of hot gas and unknown. “Crotchety old bastard. Closest thing I had to discipline besides the military at that point. Funny. As much as I gripped and moaned about all of his rules, I was the one throwing a tantrum at his sudden absence.” 

 

Joker, Kaidan, and Nihlus all trained their eyes on her. She glanced up then, flashing a smirk. Jeff knew hidden pain- did it too often himself. But the lines along her straightened and disappeared as her smirk melted into her relaxed grin. 

 

“Who watched that biotic ball tournament before we shipped out?”

 

And the cockpit erupted in fury. 


	6. Colossal Outrage

_ At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.  _ **-Aristotle**

* * *

 

“ _ Would you like to explain why the entire ground team from Eden Prime is present, Captain?” _

 

Shepard turned a silver iris on the older male that just waltzed in. She snorted and smiled bitterly, “Ah, ya know. We figured it was a good day to crash the political party, Ambassador. Give everyone a taste of the rugged side of humanity.  _ In fact..!”  _ She trailed off as she turned to Nihlus, Kaidan, and Bahtia, vividly teaching them how to pull a varren tooth through a human esophagus using a paperclip. Udina scowled at Shepard first, Anderson second. He crossed his arms in clear disapproval and just as he opened his mouth the Captain held up a hand to silence him. They migrated towards the front of Udina’s office where they settled into loft chairs. Their backs creaked with age (Udina because of countless hours poised perfectly at meeting tables attempting to look intimidating in front of non-humans and Anderson from his scarring military history of climbing terrain and dodging bullets). 

 

“I would just  _ love _ to hear the excuse for this one, Captain Anderson.”

 

“They are apart of a handful of people who remember what they encountered topside and aren’t traumatized. You think you can walk into the Chambers and talk them smooth, Ambassador? We both know that you aren’t going to win them over.”

 

An electronic voice saved Udina from further reprimanding. 

 

“ **_Ambassador Udina, your presence is requested in the Council Chambers in 5 hours from this time._ ** ” 

 

“ _ YES _ , thank you, Avina.” The Ambassador sighed, running a hand over his face. “Of all the things… She can barely hold herself together,  _ let alone _ bring back the beacon. She’s managed to jeopardize her candidacy for the Spectres and disgrace Earth in one sitting!”

 

Shepard snapped her head towards the politician. Her glare shook some sense into Udina and he visibly pushed out his chest in challenge. Shepard took the bait. 

 

“Listen here,  _ Ambassador _ -”

 

Everyone in the room tensed as the aura they stood in shifted from stressed to violent. Luckily, Nihlus pressed a hand into Shepard’s shoulder to save her from further embarrassment. _Pft, embarrassed? Who the hell was he kidding?_ “Ambassador Udina, I’m not one to give praise to every person I meet. Surely you understand that?”

 

Udina’s faced squeezed together in a mess of aged wrinkles, “Of course I do!”

 

Ever the patient man, the turian continued. 

 

“I would not have selected Shepard if she wasn’t capable of completing the task. While the destroyed beacon has set us back, it does not change my opinion of her. I believe in Shepard. She’s Spectre material and provided any help necessary to the Eden Prime colony even after the mission. If that doesn’t sway the Council, I don’t know what will.”

 

The room was quiet for a few minutes as Nihlus smugly stared down Udina. Kaidan appeared impressed with Nihlus if the drool edging past his lip was any indicator. As for the rest, they all blankly stared at Nihlus in distant judgment. 

 

Ah, so he was a man of his word, then. 

 

**. . .**

 

Once the meet-and-greet drew to a close, the ground team was dispatched to amble around the station until the meeting with the Council began. Nihlus excused himself from the group to run errands around the Citadel. ( _ Blah, blah,  _ Spectre business,  _ blah, blah, _ “don’t fuck anything up”,  _ blah _ ) That left Shepard and Kaidan, who were abandoned by Bahtia when she saw her husband arguing with a representative. The Commander sent her a rendezvous point to meet up at and insisted she called if there was any trouble. 

 

In short, this is how the duo arrived at the Elcor-Volus Embassy. Beaming up at the hulking mass of creature, Shepard listened intently as Ambassador Calyn gave a brief overview of the Elcor’s presentation to the Citadel. She thanked both Calyn and Din and was ready to leave when she spotted another elcor just a few feet off to the right. He swayed a bit from one side to the other and his body rippled from the movement. Perhaps it was something common for their species to do, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to kill more time.

 

Shepard waved in greeting, “Hello!”

 

The elcor waited a moment, before his monotonous voice boomed, “Hello, there human. Sincere apology, but I am here on business and cannot be distracted right now.”

 

She pressed a hand to her chest as she gasped. “Is someone bothering you? Who is it? A bully? Just tell me who and I’ll fix it.” Kaidan balked at her behavior, leaning forward to advise against it. 

 

Even though this wasn’t Shepard’s first time aboard the station, she was already butting into someone else’s business. Eden Prime had shaken all of them up.  _ Nihlus _ had to take a few moments to himself after they hauled the Commander onto the Normandy. 

 

To no avail, Shepard waved away Kaidan’s efforts as she kept her eye on her new friend. “It is the fault of the Asari Consort. She has compromised my authority as a diplomat.”

“She wouldn’t  _ dare! _ ”

 

“Alas… she did.” 

 

“Where is this ‘Consort’? I’ll try to settle this out for you, Diplomat…?”

 

“Xeltan. I am Diplomat Xeltan. The Consort is across the bridge. Good day, human.” 

 

**. . .**

 

“Wait, did he say to take an elevator?”

 

“No ma’am. I believe he said to cross the bridge.”

 

“Wh-  _ Alenko. _ ”

 

The Lieutenant offered her a sheepish smile. “I thought you wanted to head to the Wards?”

 

“Sneaky bastard,” she growled low. “You let me amble about so I wouldn’t strangle that asari,  _ didn’t you? _ ”

 

“...yes.”

 

Hisses blew past her lips. She paced back and forth across the floor of the elevator. Heavy boots scuffed at the tile lining the bottom of the box, hoping to find some purchase to catch it on. Her silent tantrum stopped as the elevator descended, the glass swallowed the view of the arm below. Sky cars flew past at alarming speeds, buildings of all shapes and sizes littered the surface of just one arm out of five to create buzzing atmospheres of various species. Kaidan murmured something about a ‘big place’, his eyes scattering first downwards then sweeping up to catch a glimpse of the triangular slivers of space between the arms. To his surprise, Shepard’s face softened considerably. One of her palms hesitantly rested on the glass. It ached to touch the freezing air just outside, the vibrating turbulence that separated life from death. At one point, a very long time ago, she stood with her grandmother in this same elevator, gasping at the bright colors dancing into her vision. She chuckled at the thought and stepped away from the glass before any of the painful could bite at her skin. Just a trickle started to descend down her spine but Kaidan shuffled just out of view. The fluttering of movement turned her attention to him. Finally she relented, jabbing a thumb at the scene before them. 

 

“Welcome the Zakera Ward, Alenko,” she smirked, her chest swelling with pride. While it had been years since her last technical visit to the Citadel (even with her poorly hidden animosity towards the station), she didn’t have any qualms saying that she had resided there at some point. It had become home just as much as the  _ SSV Einstein _ had. 

 

Inevitably, even  _ those _ thoughts were beginning to become too painful. Her chest tightened, but she played it off as a sharp exhale. She knew he wouldn’t ask. None of them ever did. 

 

It just wasn’t his place. 

 

The elevator dinged, doors sliding open to reveal a mass of different aliens Kaidan had only seen on the vids but never truly encountered and talked to in person. Being in large crowds such as the ones before him made one involuntarily hyperaware of every movement. A volus tripped over the foot of a snickering human; two asari giggled as they listened to some sort of message from their omni-tools; several lumbering elcor gathered in one space, all of their eyes closed- as if meditating; one tall turian stood above most of the others, stalking towards them angrily. Vibrant green irises blazed in annoyance. 

 

Blinking up at Nihlus, Shepard and Kaidan blinked up at him before Shepard simply huffed and shuffled over to a ramen stand. 

 

Nihlus turned to look at Kaidan who looked at Nihlus who looked entirely too tired for his age. “I suppose it wouldn’t to hurt to eat. Come on.” The turian swiveled gracefully on his feet to enter the ramen dojo as well. Alenko took one step forward. Just as he did, hairs prickled along the back of his neck. He knew what it felt like to be scrutinized. He had spent so long attempting look impressive so he wouldn’t  _ have to  _ be scrutinized.  _ Ever _ . 

 

Nonetheless, he casually glanced behind to meet the steady haze of an ashen grey turian watching his every move. He tensed, bunching his shoulders around himself. Before anything else happened, the turian stalked off to… elsewhere. 

 

He quickly moved into the ramen dojo to warn the others, to tell Shepard and Nihlus that  _ something isn’t right here, guys _ , but-  **but** -

 

**_BOOM!_ **

 

Someone beat him to the punch. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, fuck Udina. Dun worry, we'll be seeing more of his smug, sweaty face >u>
> 
> ON ANOTHER NOTE, I have just updated this lil pup with four chapters!! *Squee* So, hopefully people will take a liking to how I've been handling things up to this point. I know it's probably going to be bit boring for some parts (because filler chapters ARE THE WORST >A> ), but I promise things will heat up for our trio in Chapter 7! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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